M is for madness.

M is for madness, M is for me
surrounded by madness, it’s all I can see.

I think it’s genetic, my family are mad
My brother’s a psycho, then there’s my dad!.

My sister starts howling, at every full moon
and wears a fur coat, in the middle of June .

My uncle’s in jail, I can’t say what for
he’s safely locked up, behind a steel door.

My aunt loves to chat, to folk on the street
usually she’s naked, just socks on her feet.

My cousin’s alright, he’s only fifteen
but he’s blessed with 3 eyes, one blue and 2 green.

Last, but not least, is my dear grandpa Pat,
he calls himself Mary, and married his cat.

At the end of the day, when all’s said and done
living with madness, is really quite fun.

I like being crazy, cuckoo and mad
To live my life sane, to me seems so sad!.

I wish I had a Voodoo doll!

I wish I had a Voodoo doll
of that someone I hate,
If I had a Voodoo doll
I’m sure it would feel great.

If I had a Voodoo doll
I’d stab it in the eye
then sit back and wait
for you start to cry.

If I had a Voodoo doll
I’d stab it through the heart
Then sit back and watch
as your world falls apart.

I wish I had a Voodoo doll
an effigy of you
I’d stitch it’s wounds, fix it up
and make it good as new.

Something woke me up last night!

Something woke me up last night
and when I went to see,
I saw two piercing icy blue eyes
staring back at me.

I hid in fear beneath my bed,
my heart beat in my chest
far too scared to venture out
and face my unknown guest.

Seconds, minutes hours passed
the time was drawing near
I had to forgo safety
do battle with my fears.

Slowly, and with caution
I left my temporary lair
and then spied my tormentor
my daughters Teddy Bear!.

All little children adore fairytales.

All little children,  adore fairy tales
To delight and enthral, these stories never fail.

I have seen their effect, on my own little girls
The way that their eyes widen, as a story unfurls.

The look of terror, that passes between them
As I tell them of goblins, witches and demons

They love the 3 pigs, as they run from the wolf
And the fact that he’d eat them, if only he could!.

They admire Rapunzel, and her long golden hair
They’d climb up to meet her, if only they dared.

They smile when the duckling turns into a swan
Are sad when the little lamb can’t find his way home.

They believe that the elves, really did make those shoes
And that witches live in cottages, with sugar spun roofs.

They gaze at the drawings of beautiful princesses
Resplendent in jewels, and taffeta dresses.

They wish they could meet a unicorn one day
Or go swimming with mermaids, by the dock of a bay.

They would love to have tea with the billy goats gruff
Making sure that all three,  had eaten enough.

Then visit red riding hood, and bring her some cake
And draw her a map of which  path she should take.

They giggle at the emperor, and his naked behind
And worry that Goldilocks won’t get out in time.

Then there’s Snow White, and her 7 little dwarfs
Whistling their tune, as they skip off to work.

There are so many characters, I can’t name them all
I’m sure I’ve forgotten, more than I recall.

I’ve read all these fables, had them read to me
My imagination happy, I let it run free.

I’ll continue to read them, for as long as I ‘m able
Whilst I sip rhubarb tea at the mad hatter’s table!.

A story for children.

I’m thinking of writing a new children’s story
Nothing too dark, and nothing too gory!.

I’ve toyed with the notion, for several years
But the words wouldn’t come, the page remained bare.

But lately the desire to write has returned
My literary bridges, have not yet been burnt.

Characters and plot lines, all need to be thought of
If I get stuck, I could just ask my daughters.

To think like a child, is the key to all this
A child sees the things, that as grown ups, we miss.

To appeal to a child, you must empathise
You have to be able, to see through their eyes.

Once upon a time, my opening line?
Or has that been used, too many times.

Will my heroine be a princess, locked up in a tower
The villain, her step mum, malicious and dour.

The setting perhaps, a deep dark wood
Where that mouse found a nut, and the nut looked good!.

No, I shan’t copy others, there’s no need for that
I have my own tricks, to pull out of the hat!.

I have many characters, floating around my head
But if they don’t fit it, I’ll use others instead.

I do have one tale, I’ve already written
My audience of three, were really quite smitten!.

Electra, Augusta, and Aqua their names,
But are they quite ready to handle the fame?.

It’s a tale that is based on three little girls
Two of them mine, my niece is the third.

They all have special powers, that set them apart
And all three have been blessed, with the gentlest of hearts.

Electra, the eldest, is giving and wise,
But don’t look too closely, into her eyes!.

Augusta, the youngest, looks just like Snow White
But don’t stand too close, when she prepares to take flight.

The last of the trio, but certainly not the least
Is Aqua, the maiden who can swim with the fish!.

But perhaps I should try out, something brand new
Introduce different characters, maybe someone like you?.

Who knows what I’ll write, which words will appear
As long as you like them, I don’t really care.

Today is my birthday!.

Today is my birthday, the day of my birth
So I look around me, and study my worth.

I’m a little surprised, that I’ve made it this far
My journeys been varied, by foot or by car.

I’ve taken some risks, cut a few corners
Been skating on ice, whilst the suns getting warmer.

I’ve found myself placed, right in harms way
Grateful that fate, always dragged me away.

Decisions I’ve made, haven’t always been good
Avoiding the truth, for as long as I could.

There’ve been times when I’ve been,  out on a limb
Knocking on windows, longing to get in.

I’ve escaped being caught, by the skin of my teeth
Toyed with the notion, of becoming a thief.

I’ve lied and deceived, till I’m blue in the face
Tripped others up, so that I win the race.

I’ve pretended to cry, whilst laughing inside
Innocent and pure, as the blushing new bride.

I’ve also been good, kind and considerate
Come across as a fool, the village idiot.

I’ve made others laugh, laugh till they cry
Cheered them right up, when they’re dying inside.

I’ve always been loyal, consistent and wise
I’ve considered your friendship, the ultimate prize.

I’ve stayed happily married, had two little girls
I’ve watched my mum dying, that part becomes blurred.

My best friend’s been with me, since the age of 11
Her parents, and my mother, are now up in heaven.

My siblings and father, are all still around
If ever I need them, they’ll always be found.

I know there’s no point, to living in the past
No escaping the outcome, once your net has been cast.

Today I am older, if not wiser perhaps
But so far it’s been good, so I’ll drink to that!.

The School Sports Day!

My eldest has been practicing, for her sports day
The egg and spoon, her favourite race.

She found one of her sister’s fake wooden eggs
Chose a teaspoon, then a ladle instead!.

I watched as she ran round, dropping her egg
Thinking she’d do better if she stood on one leg!.

Next came practice, for the fancy dress race?
I know, that’s the look I had on my face!.

Apparently, you run and get dressed on the way,
They didn’t call it fancy dress, back in my day!.

What else are you doing?, I asked as she rested
The poor girls resolve, had been sorely tested!.

It’s not about winning, it’s about taking part!
She loudly declared, as she sank to the grass.

Who told you that,  load of old tosh?
Obviously someone,  who never came first!.

If you cannot win, by doing your best
Don’t rest on your laurels, leave success to the rest!.

Beg steal or borrow, cheat by all means,
Injure opponents, shatter their dreams.

Mummy and Daddy want you to win
To lose in our eyes, is a terrible sin!!.

Time to stop.

Give up, stop trying, call it a day
Accept that the pain, is here to stay.

Don’t wallow in self pity, it won’t change a thing
Just sit there in silence, take everything in.

Swallow your pride, your self esteem
Give up your hopes, forget your dreams.

You do realise, that no one respects you
I don’t see anyone, rushing to protect you.

I hope you’re not crying, please do not cry
It would take an eternity, for your tears to dry.

I’m just being honest, for your own good
You know that I’d help you, if only I could.

That ridiculously soft part of your heart
Has held you back, right from the start.

Has clouded your judgement at every turn
When are you ever going to learn?.

You’re too easy to fool, trick and deceive
Too hard to get rid of, they want you to leave!.

Poor thing, I know, it’s not easy being you
I wouldn’t want to spend a day in your shoes.

I couldn’t let myself, be treated as you are
I didn’t think a person, could be pushed quite that far.

How much more are you prepared to endure?
Don’t you ever think, to settle the score.

Please don’t think that I mean to hurt you
I just don’t like seeing, what you have to go through.

I want you to start to put yourself first.
Just keep up your guard, and you won’t be hurt.

The Hangover!.

Have you ever woken up, after a night of drinking
With that awful feeling that the room is sinking?.

With that awful pounding in your head
Wishing, and praying, that you were dead.

Wanting to hibernate, like a brown bear
Asleep for the winter, in his warm lair.

Why did I have to drink like a fish?
I could have avoided feeling like this!.

The festivities started at six on the dot
I got there early to get a good spot.

I started off slowly, sipping my wine,
But before I knew it, I’d lost track of time!.

I’d forgotten to eat, that’s nothing new
A liquid diet, would just have to do!.

Then I decided to vary my drink
See how many shots, this girl could sink!.

I sank quite a few, I lost count at seven
I passed out at ten, or was it eleven!.

Before I passed out, I fancied a dance
Like a drunken old mule, I started to prance.

I spun round the floor, busting my moves
God knows what happened to my tights and my shoes!.

I have no recollection, of how I got home
I recall tripping up, and dropping my phone.

Did I walk home, or did I get a cab?
I think I had chips with my doner kebab.

All I know is that it won’t  happen again
Next time I go out, I’ll be back home by ten.

I have learnt a lesson, a valuable one
My days of getting drunk, are over and done.

I cannot recover, as once was the case
What took a few hours, now takes several days.

I look and feel, like the walking dead
I don’t think I’d care, if they chopped off my head.
.
My eyes look like marbles pickled in brine
My hair like a haystack , tied up with twine.

Never again, I swear hand on heart
I’m just wondering when never should start!!.

I started a diet today!.

I attempted to start a diet today
Climb on the wagon, sit on the hay.

I threw out the sweets, chocolate and cake,
Discarding those treasures, made my heart ache.

Next went the wine, straight down the plug
I was mightily tempted to take a quick slug!.

I jumped on the scales, to note down my weight
When I spied the result, I started to shake.

God help me, I thought, I can’t be that big
Do I weigh more than a prize winning pig?.

I must be big boned, I thought with relief
As big as a T Rex, including his teeth!.

Exercise said I , that’s what I need
A run round the park, past the big trees.

I pulled on my trainers, my track suit felt tight
If you saw me face on, I looked quite a sight!.

I slipped out the door, at a quarter past six
Then had to go back, I’d forgotten my cigs!.

I got to the park, at six twenty one
The experienced runners, had already begun.

They all looked like athletes, fat free and toned
I just couldn’t face it, so I went home!.

Later that day, I fancied a swim
I drove to the pool, but I didn’t go in.

I took one look at the bodies on show
Suntanned and lean, their faces aglow.

From where I was stood, I spied my reflection
It took me a while, to make the connection.

The rather large figure, I saw reflected
Resembled a species, that should have been protected!.

When I got home, I felt weak and tired
All of my willpower, had long since expired.

Stuff all this dieting, and life on the wagon
I could eat a whole donkey, followed by a dragon.

I could drink a river, filled with red wine
Then smoke 40 cigs, two at a time!.

I’m not cut out, for diets and such
I value the good things in life, far too much!.